What I Hate

You know what I hate?I hate when you put your time, effort, heart, and trust into someone and they throw it up.I hate when you reach that time when you realize that you're not going to get any sleep that night.I hate when you get excited over something, and something else completely ruins it.I hate when I'm lonely.I hate being here.I've hated it for a while.Why does God hate my death?I'm ready to accept it.No biggie...

I'm a...

I'm a stitch away from making itAnd a scar away from falling apart, apartBlood cells pixelateAnd eyes dilateAnd the full moon pills got me out on the street at nightCut it looseWatch you work the roomCut it looseWatch you work the roomCut it looseWatch you work the roomCut it looseWatch you work the room

I can't explain th...

I can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved on,It gets so hard toWalk away, Wlak away

Blah

So I haven't updated in forever. I wanna write in here everyday, and I always think of things to say but I never do. Happy Easter everyone. Tonight Becca and I are hanging out. I'm excited. I miss her everytime we're not together. My spring break's been ok so far. I wanna hang out with Mike again. We have so much fun there. I'm also really excited about the band performing at the talent show. We're awesome, screw Mrs. Krick and Mr. Kershaw.I have the biggest headache, and I don't know why.

Changes

So I've made some serious changes recently and I don't like it. Some are good but I feel like I'm changing myself too fast and I'm so confused. I don't know who I am.Crit and I made up which makes me sooo happy. I missed her sooooooo bad.Becca and I are dating, she's amazing.I got into UArts and they're giving me $7,000 a year.But on the other hand, old things that were in my life are gone. And I don't know how I feel about that. It's just...weird...

This may ne...

This may never start.We could fall apart.And I'd be your memory.Lost your sense of fear. Feelings insincere.Can I be your memory?So get back, back, back to where we lasted.Just like I imagine.I could never feel this way.So get back, back, back to the disaster.My heart's beating faster.Holding on to feel the same.

WARNING EXPLICIT

I am so sick and tiredof this fuckin' town. Some of these people could not be more immature.I can'tbelieve that someone has the nerve to talk shit about me for months, including to my VOICE TEACHERand MY CLOSESTFRIENDS and then pretend everything's ok. FUCK YOU! I don't have to deal with your fuckin' immature bullshit.How the helldo you think you knowme? Is it because you discontinued hanging out with your real friends, or because you think you're hot shit when you're NOTHING.Do you think telling on me is gonna make it better you fuckin' pussy? I hope yougo to a real audition and they laugh in your face and say "Are you serious?" cause that's what I would say. I hope you grow up for the two years you have left even a little bit because right nowyou're a fuckin'baby, you piece of shit. TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL TO MY FACE! JUST BECAUSE I'M BETTER DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT ME THROUGH THIS SHIT, YOU FUCKIN' BITCH! GO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS WAY PAST OVER. AND IF I DO EVER BUMP INTO YOU AGAIN, IT'LL BE BECAUSE I DIDN'T BREAK WHEN YOU WERE CROSSING THE STREET.As for Danielle:I don't givea shit what happens to you. I don't care about talking to you or making things right because YOU are the one who screwed up. Get over yourself cause you are NOT all that. You're a fakebitch who needs to have her nose broken.You only have friends until you screw up because you ALWAYS screwup, and then when youregret it simply because no one likes you anymore, you come crawling back for forgiveness. I'm tired of you, you fuckin' bitch. And you should really record yourself talking cause you'd bang your head into a wall if you knew how stupid and annoyingyou sound EVERY time you open your mouth. FUCK YOU.This is how I feel. I'm tired of hiding it, and I don't care what anyone thinks.

Everything Sucks

I don't understand why you keep doing this to me. You keep hurting me. And you don't see it at all. You're completely oblivious. I don't understand. How can you not see? I'm right in front of you. WHY DON'T YOU SEE ME?

Shit

DearMr. Cross, Remember me? The one you used to love? I was the one you called everyday. The one you made plans with, not weeks or even days in advance. I was the oneyou called everytime you first opened your eyes. The one who called you just to say "What's up?" when hanging out wasn't an option. The one to see your face light up with laughter, the one to catch your tears. I was the one who calmed you down. I wasn't the who hurt you. I wasn't the one you tell me about. I wasn't the one you "never want to see again." I wasn't that one. I was the one whom you called over every exciting moment. The one you called when I needed you. The one to see youfall. The one to see you get up again. The one who listened when your life changedforever.The one to go with you on gutsy trips. The one who wants to holdyour hand. The one you said"No," to but I still wanted to be your friend. The one who thinks your hair color should stay the same. The one who is getting tired of all this.I'm right here, where are you?P.S. I can't pretend I'm happy with all of this anymore. I hatewho we've become because it's not really us. I just want you back. I want to be the one.

Future Fun Weekend

So today was awesome. I didn't get to school till halfway through 4th. After 5th, Meg and I went to the mall and bought new Chucks at Journey's. They're my seventh pair. I'm in love. I also boughtfour pairs of earrings for Meg and I, two different kinds at Hot Topic. Then we went back to school for the pep rally. I won simon says. I got a 20 dollar gift certificate to the Cherry Hill Mall. I'm excited for tonight. We have Chris' party. It's gonna rock. Gary, MB, and Crit are getting a ride with Ky and I. Then tomorrow I'm open to whatever. Sunday I'm probably working then whatever. Monday my aunt's coming over andI'm getting fitted for my wedding dress for my last scene. I also have aHalo party at Adam's which is gonna be fricken hot. Last night was awesome. Gary and I wentto BCC. I got my book for class and my transcript request.I also boughtan Absolut biography and Gary bought Godiva which we'll probably eat tonight. Then we wentto the Cherry Hill Mall. I bought Weird NJ 2 and Gary bought mea book of a bunch of Edgar Allen Poe's work. I <3 him. It's so hott. Then I went over Kyle's for a little bit. My senior yearis starting to get better. It's almost over...